No Child Left Behind Act - 1358 Words

1. 4. Steps Taken by Educational Institutions to Comply with FERPA Few decades back, educational institutions maintained educational records mainly in paper files. In those days, privacy breaches meant access to information present paper files without proper consent, and the main concern was related to misuse of the student information by agencies rather than the theft of records. To comply with FERPA, educational institutions had to safeguard paper files from illegal access, and provide access to these files only for legitimate use. In early 2002, No Child Left Behind Act was enacted which largely transformed and helped digitalization of educational records held by institutions. Educational Institutions made significant progress in using latest technology to collect and store of educational records. Many of the institutions started maintaining longitudinal databases that helped track student educational records across different educational levels and made identification of patterns over a period of time easily. These advances provided policy maker s a wonderful tool to evaluate the effectiveness of a specific policy. These advanced databases eased the access and sharing of educational information resulting in widespread concerns over security and privacy breaches. The constantly evolving technological landscape is posing a big challenge for institutions to comply with various Acts like FERPA, HIPPA etc. Institutions have started appointing Chief Information SecurityShow MoreRelatedNo Child Left Behind Act1621 Words   |  7 Pages The support for the No Child Left Behind Act plummeted down shortly after the act passed. Many people supported the act at first simply because they supported the goals of the act, once they saw the results, their opinions changed. One of the biggest arguments towards No Child Left Behind is that it is unfair. People believed the resources of difference schools were unequal, and thought the Title 1 funding that the schools received should go to ensuring all schools had equal resources. Many peopleRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act1670 Words   |  7 Pages Literature Review: Every Student Succeeds Act Suzanne Hatton, BSW, LSW University of Kentucky-SW 630 Abstract This literature review seeks to explore the Every Student Succeeds Act (2015), a bipartisan reauthorization and revision to the No Child Left Behind Act (2002). The Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA) is the first law passed in fourteen years to address Reneeded changes to the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB). Considered progressive and innovative at the time of itsRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act2120 Words   |  9 PagesWhen President George W. Bush signed the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) into law in 2002, the legislation had one goal-- to improve educational equity for all students in the United States by implementing standards for student achievement and school district and teacher performance. Before the No Child Left Behind Act, the program of study for most schools was developed and implemented by individual states and local communities’ school boards. Proponents of the NCLB believed that lax oversightRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act875 Words   |  4 Pa gesThe No Child Left Behind Act â€Å"NCLB† was a bill passed by the Senate in 2001 and signed into law by President George W. Bush on January 8, 2002. It was a revision of the Elementary and Secondary Act â€Å"ESEA† of 1965 by President Lyndon Johnson. The NCLB was intended to help children in lower-income families achieve the same standard of education as children in higher income families. This was done by the federal government providing extra finances for Title I schools in exchange for a rise in academicRead MoreNo Child Left Behind Act1418 Words   |  6 Pagessystematic oppression. The flowing water of oppression floods poor schools; drowning students with dreams, and giving no mercy. The only ones safe from the water are the privileged, who are oblivious to the fact that it exists. George Bush s No Child Left Behind Act, which passed in 2002, mandated annual standardized testing in math and reading. If schools received insufficient scores, they were punished or shut down. This fueled the construed concept that a school is only doing well if the students haveRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act Essay921 Words   |  4 Pagesuccessful at it. (Source 7) Next, the â€Å"No Child left behind Act† it was signed by President George W. Bush and it passed with bipartisan support on Jan. 8, 2002. This Act states that there will be mandated annual testing in the subject reading and math and science. In the grades 3-8 and 10th grade. It shows the Adequate Yearly Progress of each school in the system of the United States. (source 1) The biggest point of this Act is that no child is â€Å"trapped in a failing school† (source 1). That eachRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act1988 Words   |  8 PagesJanuary 8, 2002, George W. Bush signed the No Child Left Behind Act into law (also known as the NCLB). The No Child Left Behind Act was the latest reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965, a federal education bill addressing the nation’s schools. At his signing ceremony, Bush stated, â€Å"There’s no greater challenge than to make sure that every child—and all of us on this stage mea n every child, not just a few children—every single child, regardless of where they live, how they’reRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act1592 Words   |  7 PagesThe No Child Left Behind Act was the biggest educational step taken by president Bush and his administration. Its main goal included the increase of achievement in education and completely eliminate the gap between different racial and ethnic groups. Its strategies had a major focus on uplifting test scores in schools, hiring â€Å"highly qualified teachers† and deliver choices in education. Unluckily, the excessive demands of the law have not succeeded in achieving the goals that were set, and have causedRead MoreNo Child Left Behind Act1747 Words   |  7 PagesNo Child Left Behind Introduction The No Child Left Behind Act (NALB) was signed into law by the former President of the United States George Walker Bush on the 8th of January 2002. It was a congressional attempt to encourage student achievement through some reforms focused on elementary and secondary education programs in the United States. The NCLB requires that within a decade all students including those with disabilities to perform at a proficient level on their state academic evaluation testsRead MoreThe No Child Left Behind Act1124 Words   |  5 PagesChristian J. Green Dr. Shoulders NCLB and ESSA 28 February 2016 The No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) was authorized by and signed into law in 2002. NCLB was a reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA) of 1965. NCLB was meant to hold schools to higher standards, enforce accountability, and close achievement gaps that had existed in education since ESEA was enacted. Nevertheless, the rigorous standards and goals set forth under NCLB were never attained. ESEA Flexibility could

Flowers for Algernon and Morality - 773 Words

In the novel, Flowers for Algernon the question of morality comes to mind. There are many immoral issues that appear throughout the novel. Three examples of this would be the treatment Charlie was receiving, the experiment itself, and Hilda the nurse talking about â€Å"Gods Play†. During the time period the novel takes place people did not feel any sympathy towards special needs people. They were not treated like everyone else would be. Looking at Charlie’s progress reports it shows the difficulty Charlie faces in his life everyday, how the experiment is not moral, and how the nurse Hilda symbolizes other immoral issues that are known in the novel. Charlie has difficulty completing simple tasks such as writing down his progress. In†¦show more content†¦They had tested it on a mouse named Algernon before but they have not yet conducted the experiment on a human being. Charlie does not understand why the experiment must be kept a secret but as the novel progress es Charlie realizes the experiment was not conducted properly and ends up failing. â€Å"I don’t reely understand why I got to keep it a seecrit. Burt says its in case theirs a faleure Prof neumur don’t want everybody to laff espeshully the pepul from the Welberg foundashun who gave him the money for the project†(Keys 20). Charlie believes the only thing Nemur is worried about is that people will mock him but he does not think that is accurate because he believes that the scientists know what they are doing and that they are smart individuals. However, as the novel progresses and Algernon begins to deteriorate Charlie realizes that the experiment was a sham. Another moral issue in the novel is the scene with the nurse Hilda. When Charlie wakes up from his operation this is the nurse that takes care of him. She tells him that she believes people should not mess with Gods work. â€Å"She says mabey I better prey to god to ask him to fogiv what they done to me. I dint eat no apples or do nothing sinful. And now im skared†. Charlie is unsure of what Hilda is telling him and is afraid because he does not want to make God angry. Because of this she is removed as his nurse, the doctor believes she spoke out of line. From this another moral issue is broughtShow MoreRelatedNarcissism In The Great Gatsby And Flowers For Algernon1437 Words   |  6 PagesThe Great Gatsby and Flowers for Algernon are both novels that feature a protagonist involved in a dependent relationship with a character that represents immorality, which leads to conflict and eventual tragedy. It is the inability of Charlie to see the narcissism of Dr. Nemur and Gatsby’s inability to see the shallowness of Daisy that allows the hero of the story to be exploited and abused. There is irony in both works as the antagonist represents everything the protagonist desires and it is theRead MoreArgument Paper : Flowers For Algernon789 Words   |  4 PagesThomas Manske Putman Hours 2, 6 November 15 2016 Argument Paper Flowers for Algernon is about a man named Charlie who is mentally slow and not smart. Charlie had an operation to make him smart. What the doctors did was unethical. Charlies doctors acted unethically when they asked if Charlie wanted to do the operation. The doctors didn’t ask Charlie these questions. Has the patient been informed of benefits and risks, understood this information, and given consent? Is the patient mentally capableRead MoreEssay On Flowers For Algernon1384 Words   |  6 PagesI have just concluded my reading of the astounding book Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes. Throughout the journey of reading this book, I was deeply devoted to learning everything I could about the characters, and their unique personalities, the plot, the imagery, and the overall theme of the book. This book is about a 30 year old man named Charlie Gordon. In the book, the reader follows him through life while he is navigating his circumstances of being born with a brain defect. This brain defectRead MoreA Streetcar Named Desire: the Importance of Being Earnest9437 Words   |  38 Pagesboth as a primary force motivating the plot and as a subj ect for philosophical speculation and debate. The question of the nature of marriage appears for the first time in the opening dialogue between Algernon and his butler, Lane, and from this point on the subject never disappears for very long. Algernon and Jack discuss the nature of marriage when they dispute briefly about whether a marriage proposal is a matter of â€Å"business† or â€Å"pleasure,† and Lady Bracknell touches on the issue when she statesRead MoreFlowers for Algernon6322 Words   |  26 PagesUnit 1 Title: Flowers for Algernon Suggested Time: 5-7 days (45 minutes per day) Common Core ELA Standards: RL.8.1, RL.8.2, RL.8.3; W8.1, W8.4, W8.9; SL8.1; L.8.1, L.8.2 [Additional Tasks: RI8.8, RI8.9] Teacher Instructions Preparing for Teaching 1. Read the Big Ideas and Key Understandings and the Synopsis. Please do not read this to the students. This is a description for teachers about the big ideas and key understanding that students should take away after completing this task

Proceedings Schedule Planning Applications â€Myassignmenthelp.Com

Question: Discuss About The Proceedings Schedule Planning Applications? Answer: Introduction: The recent trends in the modern world include the adoption of the information security trends to be applied in the business operations of organizations or companies. However, the presence of various risks and vulnerabilities in the information technologies are to be addressed for enhancing the safety of their applications. The following report discusses about the case study regarding the Aztek Company whose business corresponds to the financial service sectors. The assessment for the information technology risk management is included in the report. Furthermore, the challenges faced in the acceptance for such technologies are also covered in the report. Moreover, the IT risk principles and the IT security framework is also depicted it the analysis made on the report. Lastly, the report concludes by recommending the possible measure to be applied in their solutions. Discussion: Financial services are termed as a major part of the financial systems of the area concerned. They are mainly used to provide financial helps by using various credit instruments, services and products. The major applications of the financial services include cheque, debt clearance services, bills or credit instruments. The financial products extend from mutual funds investments to credit or debit cards. The major significance of the financial services includes the strengthening of countrys economy. This is mainly signified by the presence of more growth and prosperity on all the sectors of the companys economy. In addition, the economic growth of a country is reflected by the increase in the standards of living among the population of that country. Australian financial services: For the last two decades, the emergence of the financial services is evident by checking the global economy. The constant rate of the increasing financial economy has made the companies or business organizations to apply the solutions needed for referencing them and to apply them in their operations as well. The economy of Australia has seen an increase of 3.5% due to the financial strengthening of their services (Rampini Viswanathan, 2016). The administrations for the Australian financial services have made various implementations on the use of certain strategies for the effective business solutions and market economy. However, the presence of various risks in the financial economy is leveraging the opportunities to reference the weak points in the services. This is the main cause for the Aztek Company to face multiple issues pertaining to the information security. Moreover, the presence of illegal uses of financial services is also another cause for concerns by the company. The ce nter of the company is located in Australia which allows them to enjoy the benefits of the growing economy. This is helping them to increase their customer acquisition rate in the market. However, the additional services like implementation of online banking systems are another cause for concerns as the presence of cyber attacks and malwares are always evident. This is also the reason for losing of data from their data centers. This gives a pre-requisite to the Aztek Company to implement their security enhancements protocols for addressing such risks and threats. Risks and controls: There are various risks in the financial sectors that are due to the presence of both external and internal risks to the sector. Technology in the modern world is the main concept utilized for innovation. This can also be used to get unethical access to the system leading to breaches and grave impacts. The cyber threats occurring as data loss, user account compromising, file destroying or degrading are the main attacks included in the cyber security aspects. However, these are not the only risks faced by the financial institutions. The misalignment between businesses and information technology strategies and management decisions are also faced by these financial sectors as well (McNeil, Frey Embrechts, 2015). The main reason for such actions is the gap in technologies which causes hindrance to the normal operations. This effectively reduces the speed of serving the clients of the concerned financial organizations. Moreover, the increases of competition on the market like technologic al startups are making the existing businesses opt for more technologically driven approach to adopt the swiftness in their operations. Risk assessment: The risk assessment of information technology has made the possible integration of risk management techniques that helps in addressing the risks requirements and their mitigation. The ERM scheme is another method that has been applied by financial sectors that has helped them to enhance their process of decision making (Glendon, Clarke McKenna, 2016). The main objective of the information technology risk management is the removal of loopholes in the system that helps in the mitigation of the various threats and vulnerabilities that are referenced in the above section. Monetary Acts: The administrative authorities responsible for the monetary transactions in the market are not very efficient when it comes to the market risks. This is the main requirements for the presence of a regulatory committee in the market to analyze the market and the products included in it. In addition, the financial products which are also included in the market should also be subjected to regulatory committees and administrations. The traditional and the old methods of such administration lack the technological advancements needed for the regulatory preservations. This is being difficult for the clients to assess the validity of the products and the evaluation of them is very difficult (Chance Brooks, 2015). The Wallis report is used to serve as the connection among the risk allotment qualifications and the arrangements of the Trade Practices Act 1974 (DeAngelo Stulz, 2015). Cloud computing: Cloud technology is the incorporation of virtual architecture in the system that helps in the efficient betterment of the services. The resources are quickly accessed and modified however required. This allows the users of the cloud to access the computational abilities of the infrastructure and get the required capabilities whenever needed. This helps to increase the agility and deployment of these services. The pricing of the solutions is another feature that helps the businesses to apply for these services (Hopkin, 2017). The businesses are charged according to their usages which help them to keep track of their reports. The services provided by the cloud solutions include the presence of adequate resources, bandwidth and sustainable performance. The sole requirement of accessing the systems is the presence of an internet access. This allows remote availability of the cloud resources. In addition, disaster recovery is also possible by applying for backup. The operations of the sys tem pertaining to a particular date can be saved in the cloud for later use. In case of disasters in the system, the backed-up system can be downloaded from the cloud and will be implemented very fast. The resources are quickly accessed and modified however required. This allows the users of the cloud to access the computational abilities of the infrastructure and get the required capabilities whenever needed. This helps to increase the agility and deployment of these services. Stakeholders: The stakeholders in Australian financial sectors are said to expect higher returns. This in turn is followed by investing in risky businesses to get their desired profits. The Financial Sector Advisory Council has revealed that superannuation in the financial aspects has led to different outcomes on the premiums of the populations (Cohen, Krishnamoorthy Wright, 2017). The most typical stakeholders included in any financial sectors are the government, customers and the shareholders. This is the reason for the difference in the analytical ability of the market and the associated dangers of it. This presents the need to diversify the budget of the project. Impacts on the project: The project to be made in the Aztek Company is the introduction of cloud computing architecture to reference the solutions in the information technology aspects. Cloud technology is the incorporation of virtual architecture in the system that helps in the efficient betterment of the services. The resources are quickly accessed and modified however required. The main use of the cloud computing is for the maintenance of a virtual database to tend to the need of the customers and the employees. This allows the users of the cloud to access the computational abilities of the infrastructure and get the required capabilities whenever needed. This helps to increase the agility and deployment of these services. The services provided by the cloud solutions include the presence of adequate resources, bandwidth and sustainable performance. The sole requirement of accessing the systems is the presence of an internet access. This allows remote availability of the cloud resources. However, the presence of internet access for the access to the system has made the intrusions of several breaches to the system including malwares and viruses. The cyber threats occurring as data loss, user account compromising, file destroying or degrading are the main attacks included in the cyber security aspects. This is the main cause for data loss from the data centers. This is the main reason for the company to lose their brand value as well as business in the market. Australian frameworks: The administrative authorities of the financial sectors in Australia are responsible for referencing to the needs of the customers. This is the sole commitments made by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC). The aim for this regulatory authorities is to make honesty and assurance in the products present in the financial market so as to reach their intended customer satisfaction level (Olson Wu, 2017). Third party cloud solutions: The cloud solutions are the incorporation of virtual architecture in the system that helps in the efficient betterment of the services. The resources are quickly accessed and modified however required. The main use of the cloud computing is for the maintenance of a virtual database to tend to the need of the customers and the employees. This allows the users of the cloud to access the computational abilities of the infrastructure and get the required capabilities whenever needed. This helps to increase the agility and deployment of these services. However, attacks are always made by insiders who have been given access to the system and the organizations need to know them. The transparency is not present with them as the resources and their access are granted by the vendors. This is the main reason for the financial sectors to opt for in-house applications of the cloud solutions. This will enable them to get the solutions of in-house security. In addition, the third-party vendors usually have the right to access the data. This reduces the transparency of the organizations to get their access whenever required. This also cannot be helped in case the client wants to expand their architecture. In addition, in case a vendor goes out of business, the cloud solutions will also be lost which will impact heavily on the operations of the organizations. This will heavily impact the financial sectors as their business as well as their brand image in the market will be gravely impacted. Risks assessment: Technology in the modern world is the main concept utilized for innovation. This can also be used to get unethical access to the system leading to breaches and grave impacts. The cyber threats occurring as data loss, user account compromising, file destroying or degrading are the main attacks included in the cyber security aspects. The data loss from the data centers of the financial sectors are also another cause for risks in the systems. However, these are not the only risks faced by the financial institutions. The misalignment between businesses and information technology strategies and management decisions are also faced by these financial sectors as well (McNeil, Frey Embrechts, 2015). However, the presence of internet access for the access to the system has made the intrusions of several breaches to the system including malwares and viruses. The cyber threats occurring as data loss, user account compromising, file destroying or degrading are the main attacks included in the cy ber security aspects. This is the main cause for data loss from the data centers. This is the main reason for the company to lose their brand value as well as business in the market. The risk assessment of information technology has made the possible integration of risk management techniques that helps in addressing the risks requirements and their mitigation. The main objective of the information technology risk management is the removal of loopholes in the system that helps in the mitigation of the various threats and vulnerabilities. The risk management of the information technology is included in a wide scope of enterprise solutions (Hopkin, 2017). The development and maintenance of management systems for referring to the information security aspects shows the adoption of a systematic approach to mitigate the security risks present in the financial services (Haywood et al., 2017). According to the framework of the information security, these risks assessments can be used to reduce or stop the impacts caused by the vulnerabilities or threats and also to apply the solutions to increase the business level which was not present to address them. The framework for the information security aspects need to reference the inside attacks as well as the outside attacks that can affect the businesses of these financial solutions. The various internal threats to the financial solutions are the operational problems in the IT aspects, failure to comply with the enterprise solutions and mergers between various financial organizations or companies. The outside threats include the economic changes in the market, rise of competitions and innovations in the applications of the technology. Both of these types of threats can be used to influence the actions of the information security aspects. The risk and vulnerabilities due to these threats are to be referenced and evaluated for ensuring successful business continuity (Bruhn et al., 2017). The adoption of certain methods for the identification of the risks, estimation of the impacts made by the risks and the evaluation of them is necessary to mitigate them. The information security in the business aspects refers to the various risks and vulnerabilities corresponding to the development, use, impact and selection of the parameters inside the financial sectors. The various IT related problems that can possibly cause an impact on the business operations are included in the risks in security. Their impacts can range from losing business for some time to widespread losing of customers. This can have great impacts on both the customers as well as the financial services. The cyber attack compromises the accounts of the customers making great difficulties for them (Hsiao, 2017). This in turn causes the customers to lose their faith from the financial organization concerned. Thus, the presence of risks management framework is to be integrated. The ERM scheme is another method that has been applied by financial sectors that has helped them to enhance their process of decision making (Glendon, Clarke McKenna, 2016). The main objective of the infor mation technology risk management is the removal of loopholes in the system that helps in the mitigation of the various threats and vulnerabilities. Due to the application of the risks management framework, the business operations and the business continuity is maintained which helps to keep the brand image in the market. The risk management process is the main aim for the information security framework. The information security in the business aspects refers to the various risks and vulnerabilities corresponding to the development, use, impact and selection of the parameters inside the financial sectors. Their impacts can even range to destroy the flow of the business (Lechner Gatzert, 2017). These can be done by the adoption of certain methods for the identification of the risks, estimation of the impacts made by the risks and the evaluation of them is necessary to mitigate them. These include the adoption of regulatory frameworks for identifying the risks in the systems. This process is followed by the estimation of the risks impacts. The analysis used for the estimation is the quantitative and qualitative analysis of the risks. The last method of mitigating these risks is the application of the universal standards to reference them. Principles of information technologies in risks management: The various risks mitigation procedures are included in the information security framework. These helps in addressing the various risks in security and privacy related issues present in the financial sectors. The ERM scheme is another method that has been applied by financial sectors that has helped them to enhance their process of decision making (Lin et al., 2017). The basic methods included in this principle are discussed in this section. The first method is the requirement for connecting to the business objective. This includes the connection among the objective of the financial sectors. The next method is the successful alignment of the information technological aspects with the business objectives. The next method is the estimation of the cost requirements for addressing the mitigation requirements for the identified risks. The next method is the communication among the various authorities to address such risks. The last method is the application of analysis used for the estimation is the quantitative and qualitative analysis of the risks. These standards help in keeping up a legitimate connection with the business operations in the organization. The utilization of the IT risk framework controls the significance of removing risks from the organization. IT risks is managed as a business risk, instead of an alternate sort of risk. In addition, the approach for risk management is comprehensive and helpful. Informational technology supports the achievement of business goals, and IT risks are conveyed as the impact they can have on the achievement of business objectives or system (Yilmaz and Flouris, 2017). Each processing of the methods included in the IT aspect contains a dependence on how the business system depends upon IT-related resources, for instance, people, applications, and establishment. IT-related business chance is seen from the two focuses: protection against risks or threats and enabling of technological advancements. This assures those included with operational risks and the financial organizations are taki ng a shot at mitigating the risks in IT. The risks appetite is termed as the amount of risks present during the development and the analysis of a process to reach its course outcome. To consider the risk appetite levels of a process, two main considerations to be taken into considerations (de Freitas Alves et al., 2017). The first consideration is the ability to take difficulties by the risks. These difficulties are he transactional risks and harm. The next consideration is the measure taken to fight the difficulties in these aspects. Although, there is no presence of standards to identify the presence of risks, the risk appetite can be measured by utilizing the risk maps. Risk resilience is defined at the management level and is reflected in plans set by the authorities at bringing down vital levels of the businesses. These procedures are to address the inside as well as the outside threats to the organization concerned. . The various internal threats to the financial solutions are the operational problems in the IT aspects, failure to comply with the enterprise solutions and mergers between various financial organizations or companies. The outside threats include the economic changes in the market, rise of competitions and innovations in the applications of the technology. Both of these types of threats can be used to influence the actions of the information security aspects (Levett et al., 2017). The risk and vulnerabilities due to these threats are to be referenced and evaluated for ensuring successful business continuity. However, there is presence of requirements of the traditional processes where risks management can be done by analyzing the leg itimate and industrial necessities where the presence of risks is less. The analysis used for the estimation is the quantitative and qualitative analysis of the risks. Qualitative risk analysis: The method used in the qualitative risk analysis is the use of pre-made rating scale to analyze the risks pertaining to the system. The score of the various risks and threats will be rated on the basis of these scales. According to this, they will be applied the proper assessment methods needed for their mitigation. The probability of the risk depends on the values ranging from 0 to 1. Similarly the risk assessment is based on a scale of one to five. For the scale of one, the minimal risks mitigation is applied while for the scale of five, the most extensive mitigation is applied. Quantitative risk analysis: The quantitative analysis refers to the use of various mathematical and statistical methods to develop an end requirement for managing the various business operations. The main methods used in this analysis are the use of certain prospects to get results by accounting to the changes and trends in the insights made. This is used in a large scale as the effectiveness is much high. In addition, the cost needed for conducting this analysis is also very small. Thus, it can be considered that the qualitative risk analysis considers the risks whereas the quantitative risk analysis analyzes the project (McNeil, Frey Embrechts, 2015). Qualitative risk analysis is used to perform analytical estimation whereas the quantitative risk analysis estimates the parameters on the basis of probability. Recommendations: The organization has possessed the capacity to deal with the dangers in the organization. This has helped in keeping up the security of information and data in the organization. The utilization of firewalls and anti-viruses helps in recognizing infections in the system or server of the organization. These anti-viruses recognize and address malware and Trojans in the system. The utilization of the Big Data additionally helps in giving an appropriate database in the organization. It additionally gives security to information put away in the Cloud benefits in the organization. The Cloud administrations help in moving up the information over the web. The loss of the information can be limited by backing up the information. The resources are quickly accessed and modified however required. This allows the users of the cloud to access the computational abilities of the infrastructure and get the required capabilities whenever needed. This helps to increase the agility and deployment of thes e services. The risk management helps in prioritizing the various tasks needed for referencing the threats from the cyber attacks. Conclusion: Thus, it can be concluded from the analysis that the use of the information technology assessment has led to the successful storage of the data pertaining to the financial sectors. The various challenges in the information sectors are also referenced in the report which applies to the financial services as well. The financial challenges faced by the Aztek Company can be mitigated by applying the various risks estimated processes. The qualitative risk analysis considers the risks whereas the quantitative risk analysis analyzes the project. Qualitative risk analysis is used to perform analytical estimation whereas the quantitative risk analysis estimates the parameters on the basis of probability. In addition, the cloud related solutions are also to be applied for storing the data in virtual data centers for successful business operations. The services provided by the cloud solutions include the presence of adequate resources, bandwidth and sustainable performance. The sole requirement of accessing the systems is the presence of an internet access. This allows remote availability of the cloud resources. In addition, disaster recovery is also possible by applying for backup. The operations of the system pertaining to a particular date can be saved in the cloud for later use. In case of disasters in the system, the backed-up system can be downloaded from the cloud and will be implemented very fast. In addition, the various frameworks used present in the Australian legislature are also to be used for referencing the business requirements. In auditing, the recommendations of firewalls and antivirus programs are also to be included for the successful business continuity. References: Agca, R., Heslinga, S. C., Rollefstad, S., Heslinga, M., McInnes, I. B., Peters, M. J. L., ... Primdahl, J. (2017). EULAR recommendations for cardiovascular disease risk management in patients with rheumatoid arthritis and other forms of inflammatory joint disorders: 2015/2016 update. Annals of the rheumatic diseases, 76(1), 17-28. Behzadi, G., OSullivan, M. J., Olsen, T. L., Zhang, A. (2017). Agribusiness supply chain risk management: A review of quantitative decision models. Omega. Brindley, C. (Ed.). (2017).Supply chain risk. Taylor Francis. Bruhn, A., Whiting, B., Browne, B., Higgins, T., Tan, C. I. (2017). Introducing Enterprise Risk Management Into the University Classroom: A Case Study.Risk Management and Insurance Review,20(1), 99-131. Chance, D. M., Brooks, R. (2015).Introduction to derivatives and risk management. Cengage Learning. Cohen, J., Krishnamoorthy, G., Wright, A. (2017). Enterprise risk management and the financial reporting process: The experiences of audit committee members, CFOs, and external auditors.Contemporary Accounting Research,34(2), 1178-1209. de Freitas Alves, G., Neto, W. L., Coli, M. C., de Souza Bermejo, P. H., SantAna, T. D., Salgado, E. G. (2017, September). Perception of Enterprise Risk Management in Brazilian Higher Education Institutions. InEuropean, Mediterranean, and Middle Eastern Conference on Information Systems(pp. 506-512). Springer, Cham. DeAngelo, H., Stulz, R. M. (2015). Liquid-claim production, risk management, and bank capital structure: Why high leverage is optimal for banks.Journal of Financial Economics,116(2), 219-236. Gilman, A., Miller, L. (2017). Enterprise Risk Management and Talent Management as Vehicles for a Sustainable Museum.Systems Thinking in Museums: Theory and Practice, 71. Glendon, A. I., Clarke, S., McKenna, E. (2016).Human safety and risk management. Crc Press. Haywood, L. K., Forsyth, G. G., de Lange, W. J., Trotter, D. H. (2017). Contextualising risk within enterprise risk management through the application of systems thinking.Environment Systems and Decisions,37(2), 230-240. Hopkin, P. (2017).Fundamentals of risk management: understanding, evaluating and implementing effective risk management. Kogan Page Publishers. Hsiao, C. M. (2017). Enterprise Risk Management with Foreign Exchange Exposures: Evidence from Taiwan Tourism Industry.Asian Economic and Financial Review,7(9), 882-906. Lam, J. (2014).Enterprise risk management: from incentives to controls. John Wiley Sons. Lechner, P., Gatzert, N. (2017). Determinants and value of enterprise risk management: empirical evidence from Germany.The European Journal of Finance, 1-27. Levett, J. M., Fasone, J. M., Smith, A. L., Labovitz, S. S., Labovitz, J., Mellott, S., Dotan, D. B. (2017). Enterprise Risk Management in Healthcare. InSurgical Patient Care(pp. 67-86). Springer International Publishing. Lin, Y., MacMinn, R. D., Tian, R., Yu, J. (2017). Pension risk management in the enterprise risk management framework.Journal of Risk and Insurance,84(S1), 345-365. McNeil, A. J., Frey, R., Embrechts, P. (2015).Quantitative risk management: Concepts, techniques and tools. Princeton university press. Meyer, T., Reniers, G. (2016).Engineering risk management. Walter de Gruyter accountingCo KG. Olson, D. L., Wu, D. D. (2015).Enterprise risk management(Vol. 3). World Scientific Publishing Co Inc. Olson, D. L., Wu, D. D. (2017). Data Mining Models and Enterprise Risk Management. InEnterprise Risk Management Models(pp. 119-132). Springer Berlin Heidelberg. Rampini, A. A., Viswanathan, S. (2016).Household risk management(No. w22293). National Bureau of Economic Research. Rsnen, A., Jurgilevich, A., Haanp, S., Heikkinen, M., Groundstroem, F., Juhola, S. (2017). Climate Risk Management. (pp. 21-33). Sohrabi, S., Riabov, A., Udrea, O. (2017). Planning-based Scenario Generation for Enterprise Risk Management. InProceedings of the Scheduling and Planning Applications woRKshop (SPARK). Sweeting, P. (2017).Financial enterprise risk management. Cambridge University Press. Yen, S. H. (2017). The Study on Internal Control to Enterprise Risk Management-An Empirical Study on S Company. Yilmaz, A. K., Flouris, T. (2017). Case Studies for Enterprise Risk Management from Leading Holdings: TAV Airports Holding and BRISA Bridgestone Sabanci Tyre Manufacturing and Trading Inc. InCorporate Risk Management for International Business(pp. 153-163). Springer Singapore.

Chemical reaction trends and solubility free essay sample

In the first group of four reactions, Iron phosphate and calcium phosphate are the two products that are insoluble in water. In the three of the four reactions a cloudy white or yellow formed. This indicated the formation of a precipitate, caused by the generally insoluble phosphate anion. Potassium chloride, Iron nitrate, and potassium sulfate where the products which were soluble in water. With these products there was no evidence of a precipitate forming. 2. Based on the results from reactions A and B for the first group of reactions, the enerally insoluble anion is phosphate. In all three reactions that occurred, when phosphate mixed with iron or calcium a precipitate formed. Iron and calcium cations followed the rule of phosphate. Nonetheless in the reactants the potassium cation did not follow the rule of the phosphate anion, this is demonstrated by the fact that before mixing potassium phosphate was transparent clear liquid. We will write a custom essay sample on Chemical reaction trends and solubility or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page No precipitate was formed before mixing. 3. In reaction C, the generally insoluble phosphate anion was not present in the reaction, all products formed were soluble because no precipitate formed. In reaction C essentially no reaction took place because I observed that nothing changed from before the reaction to when I mixed Iron Chloride and Potassium Nitrate. Both products and reactants remained transparent yellow liquids. In reaction D, the phosphate anion was present in the reaction. The reactants- Iron sulfate and Potassium Phosphate- were both soluble because they were both transparent liquids before the reaction. After the reactants were mixed in the tube a cloudy yellow liquid formed indicating the formation of solid Iron Phosphate. The Iron cation followed the generally insoluble rule of the Phosphate anion. 4. Chloride, nitrate, sulfate, and bromide are generally soluble anions. Phosphate, hydroxide, and carbonate are generally insoluble anions. Potassium, Sodium, and Ammonium are always soluble cations. Iron, Calcium, Copper, Zinc, Nickel, and Magnesium follow the rule of the anion. 5. On scratch paper. 6. If potassium hydroxide mixed with zinc sulfate the reactants would mix to form solid zinc hydroxide and soluble potassium sulfate. This is because hydroxide is a enerally insoluble anion and zinc is a cation that follows the rule of the anion so zinc hydroxide is insoluble and a precipitate will form. Potassium is a cation that is always soluble, therefore it overrides the rule of the anion but regardless, sulfate is also a generally soluble anion. My observations coincide with my prediction because when I mixed potassium hydroxide and zinc sulfate, a slightly cloudy clear liquid formed which indicates the formation of the solid zinc hydroxide in the reaction. 1 . The reactivities of the four elements in increasing order are Cu

Taiwan 2 Essay Research Paper Taiwan is free essay sample

Taiwan 2 Essay, Research Paper Taiwan is an island located about 100 stat mis from China. It was originally portion of China. But in 1949, the Communists seized Mainland China coercing the patriots to withdraw to Taiwan. From so on, Taiwan is besides known as Free China. The leaders of Republic of China, ( Free China ) hoped someday that the Communists will be driven out of China. Therefore, they start to construct Taiwan as a military base for such intent. However, their dreams were neer accomplished, alternatively, their attempts turned Taiwan into a economic powerful state. This is besides known as the Taiwan Miracle. There is another interesting information about Taiwan # 8217 ; s name. Despite Free China, Taiwan besides has two other names, # 8220 ; Taiwan # 8221 ; ( the one we call it ) and # 8220 ; Formosa # 8221 ; . We will write a custom essay sample on Taiwan 2 Essay Research Paper Taiwan is or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Let # 8217 ; s talk about # 8220 ; Taiwan # 8221 ; foremost. # 8220 ; Taiwan # 8221 ; means # 8220 ; terraced bay # 8221 ; to the mountain tribal people who originally lives in Taiwan. When the immigrants from China migrated to this island 3 100s old ages ago, they kept hearing the tribal people naming ( the topographic point where the Chinese landed ) # 8220 ; Taiwan # 8221 ; . Therefore, they assumed that the island is # 8220 ; Taiwan # 8221 ; . Formosa, on the other manus, was called by the Lusitanian crewmans in the 1600s. It means # 8220 ; beautiful island # 8221 ; . Therefore, there are still people mentioning Taiwan as Formosa when they try to fancify Taiwan today. Taiwan is a sub-tropical state that that is warm most of the twelvemonth. The Tropic of Cancer passes through Taiwan in the southern portion. Therefore, snow is unusual to most the Taiwanese here. But there are some topographic points up in the high mountains that do acquire cold adequate to snow. Because the land is hot and humid, it is the best for turning rice and other farm merchandises. The husbandmans in north can turn two harvests of rice a twelvemonth in the North and three harvests a twelvemonth in the South. There are largely mountains in the north portion of Taiwan while home base farming area in the South. The authorities of the Republic of China has some similarities to the authorities of the United States. The authorities is based on a Fundamental law and there is a President and Vice President. ROC has a National Assembly alternatively of a Congress and there are five subdivisions of the authorities, legislative, executive, judicial, scrutiny, and control. There are three major political parties and some other lesser known 1s. The best party that control many resources of the state is the KMT, ( Kuomintang ) , besides known as the Nationalists. The 2nd best party is DPP, ( Democratic Progressive Party ) . And New Party. Well, from here I have to state you that I am a zealot of New Party and I will interprete the three parties in MY WAY. Alright, allow me give you elaborate descriptions of the three parties. KMT is the oldest party in Chinese history. However, over the past 80 old ages, the whole party has turn from energetic and benevolent to decandent. However, such corruptness was non the exclusive job of KMT. The biggest problem this party is confronting is the infiltration of the independency thought. Because of President Lee, who is a entire hypocratical Nipponese renegade, he tries to take KMT into an autocratic that in secret seek the independency of Taiwan. Therefore please note President Lee # 8217 ; s decieteful actions and non to be fooled by the media that support him. Beside KMT, the 2nd most of import political party is the DPP. DPP is a party that is known for seeking of the independency of Taiwan. They think that merely with the entire separation with China would profit Taiwan. They are the ideal extremist collectivists. However, because they are excessively idealistic, these zealots frequently use utmost and violent ways to carry through they ends or to show their feelings. As a consequence, they are besides known for their anti-government and aggressive behaviours. The last party which is besides the party that I personally support, is the N ew Party. New Party is a reasonably # 8220 ; new # 8221 ; party. it was formed, I believe, merely 5 old ages ago by merely 7 members of the KMT legislators. The ground that they form such party is because their ideals to reform the Taiwan authorities. 5 old ages ago, ROC authorities was controled by weak and corrputive KMT functionaries ( so is now ) that the nihilist DPP members disturb the domestic repose. They thought there is a demand to reconstruct the proper societal order and long lost Chinese civilization. Unlike the KMT and DPP, New Party do non believe that # 8220 ; Money # 8221 ; has to travel with # 8220 ; Power # 8221 ; and anything has to travel the # 8220 ; difficult manner # 8221 ; , so they are peaceable combatants against the corruptness and the force in society. At that clip, all the political critics believed that this party will non last under the domination of KMT and DPP. However, over 5 old ages their support has raised from 5 per centums to now 20 pe r centum and is still steadyly turning. As people like me ( good educated in-between category ) support this party, I believe Taiwan will be a better state. Taiwan is a crowded island. Imagin 21 million people populating on an island that # 8217 ; s merely 36,000 square kilometer, including all the mountains and unliveable countries. If you do some serious computations, you would happen out that in some large metropoliss like Taipei, the denseness of population norms over 1500 individuals per square kilometer! Therefore, if you travel on Taiwan, you will normally see people. Sometimes, even if you climb a mountain or hiking far into the forests, you will still happen a small farm small town hidden in the jungle, or pupils on a field day, or soldiers on manoeuvres. There are three major groups that live on the island of Taiwan. The first group is the Chinese that migrated to Taiwan 400 old ages ago to avoid the pandemonium and war in China. These people have their ain idiom ( Chinese ) and imposts. However, although they consider themselves as Chinese, they are still Chinese. The 2nd largest group life in Taiwan is the Mainlanders that came over 40 old ages ago when the Patriots fought the Communists. Because these people are frequently good educated and sometimes affluent ( despite the soldiers that came along ) , they attempts helped to determine the present state. The last group is the natives who have been populating in Taiwan for more than thunsands of old ages. These people are like the Indians in American who face considerable jobs. These three groups were populating in harmony few decennaries ago. However, the DPP has been seeking to stress that the Mainlanders are non truely Chinese but Chinese Pigs. You see, they believe Chinese are N OT Chinese ( this most frustrates me! ) . They declare that one time Taiwan is independent they will kick all the Chinese Pigs out. The job is that there are people like me who is half Chinese and half Chinese Pig # 8230 ; Taiwanese are friendly and nice people. Most people who do non cognize about Chinese may believe that they are merely like those hapless 3rd universe state people who have low instruction rate, and abuse the natural environment. Well, I am here to turn out that Chinese are really sort and considerate. If you of all time come to Taiwan, you will happen that Chinese provides the aliens with excess aid and attention. If you go to a food market shop without cognizing even a Chinese word, you will happen that the Chinese in the shop, even the other clients will all be your assistance to happen the things you want to purchase. Sometimes you will even acquire a price reduction. That # 8217 ; s why there are more westerners coming to Taiwan for occupations now, or for holiday. Besides, there are far less mental unwellness, alcohol addiction, societal perturbations, and violent offenses in Taiwan comparison to elsewhere. Religions in Taiwan Most Chinese on Taiwan are Buddhists. Buddhist temples, shrines, and statues are found all over Taiwan ; in Changhua, there is a 72-foot high statue of Buddha, and in Taichung there is an even taller statue of Milwofwo, the Happy Buddha. The oldest and best-known BUddhist temple in Taipei is Lungshan Temple, which is about 250 old ages old. # 8220 ; Lung-Shan # 8221 ; means Dragon Hill ; the temple is ever busy with believers and toursists. Chinese normally do non travel to a group service, but instead travel to the temple separately when they have a desire to make so. In Chinese temples, you will see statues and figurines of other Gods, goddesses and saints, and you will be impressed bye the luxuriant roof carvings of animate beings and human figures. You will see incense being burned and paper money and nutrient offerings being made for the Gods. In add-on to Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism are besides of import doctrines of Taiwan. Chinese are really tolerant about faith, and they see no trouble in sing themselves to be Buddhist, Confucianist, Taoist, and even Christian, all at the same clip! Other Chinese Don # 8217 ; t concern themselves excessively much with any faith. By and large, it is of import for Chinese to pay regard to older people. Children must esteem parents ; married womans must esteem hubbies ; brothers and sisters must esteem each other. This pattern is called filial piousness, and is portion of the doctrine of Confucius, plus a blend of Buddhism, Taoism, and five thousand old ages of Chinese idea. Weddings Weddings in Taiwan are progressively similar to those in western states. Chinese brides now wear the same sort of marrying gown as the Americans, but the traditional colour of red is still really evident at Chinese nuptialss. Many Chinese delay until they are about 30 old ages old before acquiring married. The adult male frequently will prorogue matrimony until they have completed their schooling, their military service, and are more certain of holding a unafraid occupation. Funerals Funerals in Taiwan may look odd to the westerners. For on thing, white, non black, is the colour that is frequently seen at funerals. Besides, some Chinese perfere to ask for a batch of people to come to the funeral, so the household might sometimes pay people to go to even though they do non cognize the adult male who died. Fortunately, these instances occur less than earlier. Part of the funeral ceremonial includes the combustion of paper money and otherpaper objects, in the belief that the fume will transport the existent object up to heaven for the dead individual to utilize. Families normally burn immense paper house, paper mercedes, paper retainers, paper contraptions for their loved 1s.

Chronological Order Essay Topics

Chronological Order Essay TopicsToday, there are a lot of people in the world who write a chronological order essay topic. The essay is the backbone of your education and in most cases, it is your final reflection upon your chosen career. Choosing a topic that is suitable for you will make a huge difference to the outcome of your college admissions essay. Also, it will affect the judgment of your teachers and peers.In fact, some of the best topics available today are those that revolve around the founding date of a particular country. Some of the well-known topics include America's own Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, the Articles of Confederation, the War of 1812, and the US Constitution of 1787.You can also look at the political issues that were facing the United States during this time period. Many Americans were dying from tuberculosis and other such things, but there was still a large population of people living in the country. The internet is full of resources that you can use when selecting a topic to write about.Writing a chronological order essay is not really as easy as it may sound. It requires a lot of research and analysis of your ideas. You must consider things like a society's history, common values, and the influences of the social environment. Also, you must consider that you must put your thinking on paper while presenting an essay.A lot of students like to focus more on one particular time period, while others prefer to give the more general history of a country. Some people choose to write a history essay as their final paper, while others choose to just give a few brief facts about a particular culture.Most students, however, tend to write a topic based on their particular interests. They may focus on things that they find interesting or that they think are pertinent to the topic at hand.Some students are very eager to delve into the current political situation in the United States. For this reason, they tend to highlight c ertain ideas that are important to society, such as cultural differences between groups or social justice. Most colleges, however, require a topic that addresses American history.Remember that the time period that you choose does not have to be very specific. It will just be a way of expressing your interests. Since writing your essay is what it is all about, you must make sure that you have enough free time in order to do it.

Bad College Essays 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

Bad College Essays 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid SAT / ACT Prep Online Guides and Tips Just as there are noteworthy examples ofexcellent college essaysthat admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples ofterrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards. While I won’t guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won’t end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays – and what to do toif you end up creating one by accident. What Makes Bad College Essays Bad What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matterwith poor execution. Problems With the Topic The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flubwhat the essay is about or how you’ve decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily createan essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I’ll discuss in the next section. The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren’t on your transcript.So if you start witha terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes. Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don’t have a good sense of judgment or maturity, which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have tobe able to handle independent life on campus. Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person, or someone who doesn’t process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since collegeswant to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students. Still other bad topics indicate that you'reunaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself, which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officersare looking for people who can do that. Problems With the Execution Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you’ve structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style. One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics, like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that’s expected from a high school graduate. Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you'reeither someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them. Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already. Ignoring directions to this degree is not creative, just annoying. College Essay Topics To Avoid Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories. Too Personal The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something veryprivate can show that you don’t really understand boundaries. And knowing where appropriate boundaries arewill be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you. Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level:if it’s not something you’d tell a friendlystranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don’t tell it to the admissions office. Examples: Describinglosing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn’t mean you can’t write about your sexual orientation – just leave out the actual physical act. Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value. Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other.Your relationshipis adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life. Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety.Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one. Some secrets are better behind lock and key. Or behind industrial strengthrack and pinion matching machined gears and pressure bolt. Too Revealing of Bad Judgment Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoralactions out of your essay. It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you. Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you’re in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you'veturned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up. Examples: Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unlessit's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay. Describingdrug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine. Making upfictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar. Detailing yourpersonality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement. You're better off not airing your dirty laundry out in public. Seriously, no one wants to smell those socks. Too Overconfident While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies. Examples: Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play. Having no awareness of the actual scope ofyour accomplishments.It's lovelythat you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn’t make you a saintly figure. Cheering on a team? Awesome. Cheering on yourself? A little obnoxious. Too Clichà ©d or Boring Remember your reader. In this case, you're tryingto make yourself memorable to anadmissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays. If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won’t register in that person’s mind as anything worth paying attention to. Examples: Transcribingyour resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks youto write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about afacet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application. Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be. Beingmoved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed athow happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about thistends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don’t do it. Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very commonexperience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you’re going to write about death or divorce, make sure tofocus on how youdealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic. Going meta.Don’t write about the fact that you’re writing the essay as we speak,and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader'shand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways. Offering your ideas on how tofix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me,there's just no way you are being realisticallyappreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing. Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive. Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality.â€Å"Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me.† Shoes are from several centuries ago and tend to be used as flower vases. And that's true for me too! Too Off-Topic Unlike the essays you’ve been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future.Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context. Examples: Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn’t the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the waysyou've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future. Documentinghow well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantasticlearning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements. Concentrating ona work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing ananalytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you’ve been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexasapplicationto get some advice on writing about someone else's workwhile making sure your essay still points back at you. If you write your essay about art, be theguy all the way on the right, looking right at the audience to explain what's happening. Don't be the guy who is totally absorbed bywhat he's looking at. (Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons) Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now: Too Offensive With this potential mistake, you run the risk ofshowing a lack of self-awareness orthe ability to be open to new ideas. Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that’s what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inabilityto communicate successfully with others. Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that. Examples: Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay standson any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person. Writing aone-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate. Mentioninganything negative about the school you’re applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices. Don't make your reader feel like they've suddenly gotten in the ring with you. College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you’re writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic – the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list. Tone-Deafness Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life – these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness. Examples: Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off. Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn’t know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommendthe simplest and most straightforward version:being self-deprecating and low-key. Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone. Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life. Edvard Munch probably didn't submit "The Scream" as his admissions essay. He smartly saved all that existential angst for his post-bac! (Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain], via Wikimedia Commons) Lack of Personality One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay? If the answer is yes, then you aren’t doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It’s very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student. Examples: Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible. Skipping overdescription and specific detailsin favor ofwriting only in vague generalities. Does yournarrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, whichcould apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you’re doing it wrong and need to refocus onyourreaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation. Your college essay isn't the place to be indistinguishable. Off-Kilter Style There’s some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn’t a free-for-all postmodern art class. True, there areprompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences. Examples: Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot ofurban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time. Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form.Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different. Using as many â€Å"fancy† words as possible and getting very faraway from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hearyournot fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it. If you dress like this every day, you can use all the fancy words you like. Failure to Proofread Most people have a hard time checking overtheir own work. This is why you have tomake sure that someone else proofreads your writing. This is the one place where you can, should – and really must – get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft. Otherwise, you look likeyou either don’t know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don’t care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?). Examples: Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand. Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant. Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read. Repetition: excellent for mastering the long jump, terrible for keeping a reader's interest. Bad College Essay Examples – And How to Fix Them The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So ifyou think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can’t bear being touched, you’ll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up! Nowlet’s take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed. Essay #1: The â€Å"I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak† Meta-Narrative Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all. In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishingthe college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans formy October, November and December. Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my momto talk about colleges. â€Å"Maybe you should write about Star Trek,† she suggested, â€Å"you know how you’ve always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll soundcreative!† I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like justa guy who can't getover the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossedmy essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. I fell into astate of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senioryear. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomoreyear, and performing"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public.And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as thecherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes. After 3 weeksof figuring myself out, I have convertedmyself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transforma human being into 603words surely deservesa gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voiceand decided that this was not the right essay either. In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trekand my enthusiasm forTREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays. With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree. What Essay #1 Does Well Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is. Killer First Sentence Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. Funny, striking, memorable – this sentence has it all: A strange fact.There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway? A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical.What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way? Direct engagement with the reader.Instead of asking â€Å"what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house† it asks â€Å"wasyour house ever destroyed." Speaking of tornadoes, how awesome was the Wizard of Oz? Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. The author has hiscake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trekmythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computeralone in hisroom. You know, just in case. A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activismcouldcapture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words. Great Exit With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree. The essay illustrates its own stopping by having the narrator literally stop in the middle of a hike and narrowly avoid a collision. That’s funny and clever without being too gimmicky. The ending should be short and sweet, so your reader doesn't start wishing you'd turn into a human cannonball. (Image: fir0002via Wikimedia Commons.) Where Essay #1 Needs Revision Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine. Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all. In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishingthe college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans formy October, November and December. After 3 weeksof figuring myself out, I have convertedmyself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transforma human being into 603words surely deservesa gold medal. Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience. In the rewrite, I’d advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get tothe meat of the actual essay. Letting Other People Do All the Doing I sat down with my momto talk about colleges. â€Å"Maybe you should write about Star Trek,† she suggested, â€Å"you know how you’ve always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll soundcreative!† Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do.Not only that, but it sounds like both of the â€Å"incomplete† essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative. In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Stark Trekand the TREE versions of the essay as the author’s own thoughts rather than someone else’s suggestions. This way, the point of the essay – taking apart the idea that a college essay couldsummarize life experience – is earned by the author’s two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay. Don't be a passive panda. Be an active antelope. Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences Both the Star Trekfandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author – important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates.But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life. It’s fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves. In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests. How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today? Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix So, I tossedmy essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voiceand decided that this was not the right essay either. In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn'tcapture about the author.In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities. For example, after the Star Trekparagraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discussart forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who lovesStar Trek. Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting – is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist? Star Trek fans are a dime a dozen. But a Trekkie who is also a graffiti aficionado? Now that's a novel intersection of cultural tastes. Want to build the best possible college application? We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. Essay #2: The â€Å"I Once Saw Poor People† Service Trip Essay Unlike other teenagers, I’m not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteenyear-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on lifechanged after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn’t have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us. During the summer of 2006, I went on a community servicetrip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to helpthe unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies cryingfrom hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got tothe farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten daysI was there, it would be mine too. As all of this re alization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch adisease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice askingme in Spanish, â€Å"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?† I looked down to see a small boy, around nineyears of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate aheadof themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all? Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive. What Essay #2Does Well Let's first point out what this draft has going for it. Clear Chronology This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out. Arranging your narrative in order of what happened when is a simple and surefire strategy. (Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons) Where Essay #2Needs Revision Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster. Condescending, Obnoxious Tone Unlike other teenagers, I’m not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteenyear-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. This is a very broad generalization, which doesn’t tend to be the best way to formulate an argument – or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population. In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on â€Å"other teenagers,† most of whom she doesn’t know and will never meet. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us. Coming from someonewho hasn’t earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word â€Å"compassion† sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves. Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boythe author was clearly not looking all that â€Å"fortunate† – instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting. Inthe nextdraft, a better hook could be making the essayabout the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip. A more meaningful essay would compare and contrastthe points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child’s point of view. It may help to imagine you have the compound eyes of an insect. How many different perspectives can you see and describe? Vague, Unobservant Description During the summer of 2006, I went on a community servicetrip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to helpthe unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies cryingfrom hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. Phrases likeâ€Å"cries of the small children from not having enough to eat† and â€Å"dirt stained rags† seem likedescriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyedgeneralizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid? The same goes forâ€Å"filthy rags,† which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmerssotheir clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had â€Å"stains† on it. The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. If this is the â€Å"most vivid memory,† then I would expect to read all the details that havebeen seared into the author'sbrain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did theyget there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace? There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass. Reading vague generalizations is like trying to make sense of this blurry picture. Is it flowers? Holiday lights? Confetti? Who knows. And after a while, who cares? Lack of Insight or Maturity But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten daysI was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch adisease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature. After all, this isn’t a a solo wilderness trek – the authoris there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips? In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered. Unearned, Clichà ©d â€Å"Deep Thoughts† But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive. Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the authorwas shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence.But what does â€Å"there is more to life than just being alive† even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur. In a rewrite,the essayshould becompletely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new versioncan end byon a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people’s perspectives. It's important to include deep thoughts and insights into your essay - just make sure your narrative supports your conclusions! The Bottom Line Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution. The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence. The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don’t know how to write, or don’t care enough to do it well. The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness. The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations. What’s Next? Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examplespublished by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic. Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applicationsfor advice. Are you considering takingthe SAT or ACTagain before you submit your application? Read aboutour famous test prep guides for hints and strategiesfora better score. Want to improve your SAT score by 160points or your ACT score by 4 points?We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now: